I consider scones to be the often overlooked, often over baked underbelly of breakfast pastries. In fact, in my twenty two years on this wretched earth, I have only held hate in my cold heart for these most vicious of culinary disappointments. Much like terrible metal, carelessly made scones are dry, tasteless, and steeped in utter remorse.
Thus, I regard the following recipe as one of the most grueling, and difficult to master.
These confections are truly fit for a Transylvanian hunger.
Preheat the fires of hell to 425 degrees
In a large bowl sift together:
2 cups flour
1/2 cup sugar
1 tablespoon baking powder
3/4 teaspoon salt
7 tablespoons cold butter cut up into little chunks
Using a pastry blender, or two knives incorporate butter into flour
until mixture resembles bread crumbs and the biggest pieces are no bigger than small peas.
*Don't over mix though. Making a paste of butter and flour will give you a terrible finished product, and everyone will hate you, including me.*
1/2 cup dried cherries
1/2 cup candied lemon(see instructions below for making your own candied lemon)
1/2 cup heavy cream
Mix just until the dough comes together, and cleans the bowl.
Turn out onto a lightly floured surface and shape into a disk, about an inch or so thick.
Cut into wedges and position onto a baking sheet
Brush with milk, and sprinkle with sugar
Bake 12-15 minutes, or until lightly browned on top
Wash and peel:
1 lemon using a veggie peeler.
Make sure to avoid as much of the white part as possible, unless you are truly cult and enjoy the taste of bitter obscurity.
Chop into thin strips and add to a sauce pan with:
2 cups of cold water.
Bring to a boil, dump water and repeat.
After the second boiling, remove lemon from pan, and add:
1 cup sugar
1 cup water
Simmer until sugar is dissolved, and add the lemon back in.
Simmer gently for 15 minutes
Strain lemon and toss with sugar on a baking pan
Let dry completely before using.
Store leftovers in an airtight container
These scones are best enjoyed while planning your black metal pilgrimage to Norway