Friday, March 7, 2008

Frostbitten Molasses Cookies Entombed with Ginger



Boiled down to its very essence, metal is nothing more than a mixture of molasses and alienation. By that definition, these cookies are black fucking metal. Packed full of grim and evil spices, they will leave you feeling despondent and isolated within their stronghold of flavor.


frostbitten molasses cookies entombed with ginger

Make it:

1/2 cup butter
1/2 cup sugar
1/4 cup molasses
1/8 cup honey
1 egg yolk
1 cup crystallized ginger pieces
2 cups flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp baking powder
pinch of salt
1 1/2 tblsp cinnamon
1 to 2 tsp ground ginger
1 tsp nutmeg

Preheat oven to 350 degrees
Cream together butter, sugar, molasses, and honey. Beat in egg yolk and ginger pieces.
Sift together flour baking soda, baking powder, salt and spices.
Add dry ingredients to wet ingredients in thirds.
Chill for an hour.
bake 8-10 minutes
DO NOT OVER BAKE. To do so would not be brutal.

Enjoy, and sacrifice one to Space Odin.
Thank you to Dano for sifting the flour. My hands are permanently clenched in anger.
at

48 comments:

  1. The BreadmasterMarch 12, 2008 at 10:13 AM

    Nothing says your brutally black metal like a warm delicious molasses cookie. I wish they would throw these at the audience at black metal shows, pipping hot from the oven to scald all fanboys.

    ReplyDelete
  2. UnknownApril 13, 2008 at 5:25 PM

    These cookies are forged from the very fires of hell and have cast the most evil darkness over my life. I feel so much better now.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousJune 14, 2008 at 1:25 AM

    At what stage are you supposed to break the dough up into cookies for desired outcome, before or after chilling? And if after, are you supposed to roll it out & cut with cookie cutter, or just drop in "dollops" onto baking tray?

    ReplyDelete
  4. MeganJune 18, 2008 at 12:42 PM

    Heres what I do:
    Chill dough, roll into balls the size of walnuts, bake for a few minutes, flatten by pressing down with the bottom of a glass, and continue baking until done.
    But really, you can execute them however you want.

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousJune 27, 2008 at 6:58 AM

    Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  6. KoiJuly 9, 2008 at 5:41 PM

    My friends and I plan to dry out this menacing recipie... Be sure to know we plan to take photographs of the warpaint and the finished products.

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  7. estlinNovember 18, 2008 at 8:07 AM

    Umm. Your entire blog just completed existence.

    Thank you for somehow combining my two passions.

    Also, the molasses cookies were delicious and kvlt as fvck.


    HIGH FIVE.

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  8. AnonymousNovember 29, 2008 at 8:42 PM

    seriously? 1 cup of crystallized ginger? Dare I try this? I just might.

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  9. AnonymousFebruary 2, 2009 at 1:32 PM

    Megan,

    Are you going to resume posting delicious cookie-bites? My children are addicted and screaming for new tastes to tantalize their dark souls.

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousFebruary 4, 2009 at 5:56 PM

    AHAHHA, OMFG. i read about this site in Mens Health magazine. I am truly impressed. i love metal. n i love eating pointless amounts of sugar. HEEAL YEEAH. you rock, n keep up this greatness. BREE BREE :)

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